Feathers In The Wind

Years ago, when my mother was a little girl, she was asked to give a talk in church. She wasn't sure what to talk about and my grandfather, who was a wise, fun-loving man with a great sense of humor, came up with an idea. He instructed her to gather all the feathers she could find. This wasn't too hard, since they lived on a small ranch at the time. He handed her an old pillowcase, and told her to stuff it full of the feathers. Then he told her what to say, and how to handle the prop he had helped her create.

The day of the talk arrived. My mother stood behind the pulpit in the chapel and talked about the evils of gossip. She explained that when we spread rumors, or create stories about people, it was like casting feathers into the wind. She then opened the pillowcase full of feathers she had brought with her, and emptied it into the room, much to my grandmother's dismay. It was a very effective, though messy object lesson. My mother stated clearly that day that once you spread a story, whether it's true or not, it will float around, much like the feathers were doing, and it was impossible to retrieve those stories, or undo the damage wreaked by gossip.

People in that ward talked about my mother's mini-sermon for weeks. An important point had been made. My grandmother, meanwhile, saw to it that every feather was gathered in that small chapel. My mother and grandfather spent well over an hour picking up each one. ;)

I'm sure we've all been victims of gossip. I'll never forget the day I was approached by a woman in our ward. I was attending a stake Relief Society event---I had been asked to take part on the program that day. When it was over, this woman came up to me and said, "What are you doing here? You were life-flighted out this morning!"

Obviously this woman was wrong, since I was standing right there before her. I had endured an entertaining adventure the night before this woman saw me, which had led to all of the rumors floating around our valley. I had suffered a toxic reaction to a high-powered medication that my doctors were hoping would kick the lupus into remission, a medical condition that had been quite active for several weeks. This medicine had all but shut down my kidneys and that night, I endured my one and only ambulance ride to the local hospital where I spent a long time in ER, and an even longer time in ICU.

When it was determined that my heart was not involved, and I was no longer in mortal danger, I was eventually released from the hospital a few hours later. I was taken off the medication that had caused all of the trouble, and though I didn't feel the greatest for a few days after that, I was hardly floating around in a Life-Flight helicopter.

It seems to be human nature to jump to conclusions---to think that because we've seen or heard something, it is gospel truth. Most often, we know nothing about the situation and we do more harm than good by sharing our take on things.

We've been counseled by our Savior to avoid judging others. It is simply not our place to point fingers. As He said long ago, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." As I recall, everyone who had gathered there to stone a woman they had figured deserved that harsh treatment, quietly dropped their stones and walked away.

In today's crazy world, we need to do likewise. We live in a turbulent time. We need to lift each other up, not tear each other down, and we really need to cease casting feathers into the wind. This kind of negative behavior hurts so many lives. We rarely know the whole story--we simply know our take on whatever it is. But when we run around sharing that small portion, untold damage is rendered. It's much like the story of the six blind men who examined an elephant, trying to understand what it was:

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

John Godfrey Saxe

I suggest that in the future, we try to be kind to one another. Instead of spreading feathers in the wind, spread understanding, kindness, and warming smiles. Emulate our Elder Brother's example in lifting the weary hands that hang down. Be among the bridge builders, not the demolition teams.

Son-bursts

We've experienced quite a week in our ward. One of our stalwarts, a man everyone loved, passed away quietly. He had been battling Lou Gehrig's disease for quite some time. Recently, we thought he was improving and our hopes were raised that all would be well. It is---just not in the manner we had envisioned.

With heavy hearts, we girded up for the funeral. Since I'm still the fearless leader for the YW in our ward, I had another concern: one of our Mia Maids is the youngest daughter of the valiant man who slipped from our lives this past week. Three other YW in our ward are nieces. This is a difficult time for all four young ladies. Somehow we have to help them ease through the heartache of losing a loved one.

In the middle of all of this, another ward stalwart, our previous bishop, suffered a massive heart attack. He was life-flighted to Utah for emergency by-pass surgery. His wife is our current Relief Society president. She was hit from all sides. She had been out of town to be with a daughter who had given birth to her first child when she received the news about her husband's heart condition. As she made preparations to leave and be with her husband, this woman's father passed away with a heart attack.

Wow! Is it pouring trials our direction, or what? It seemed as if it was storming like crazy in all of our lives. In a state of shock, we pulled together to survive. Knowing this funeral would be huge, all of our ward organizations rallied to help the remaining member of the R.S. presidency. (The other counselor in this presidency is a sister to the man who passed away.)

To make matters even more entertaining, for weeks, our activities committee had been pulling together a huge Halloween party. It was to take place on October 31st. As it turned out, this would be the day of the funeral. Several of us wondered if it would be better to cancel the festivities in light of what had happened. Our wise bishop decided to continue with the plans that had been laid. He was definitely inspired.

Some of us who had been asked to help with the Halloween Carnival\Ward Trunk & Treat, had to hurry home to change clothes after the funeral so we could return to the church in time to set up the Halloween games. As we hurriedly redecorated the gym, we wondered if anyone would come to this event.

Surprisingly, most of our ward returned to celebrate what was left of this particular holiday. A goodly share of these people dressed in costume, including the children of the man whose life had been celebrated during the earlier funeral. This Halloween party proved to be a much needed stress release, and a chance to focus on something fun. It was the exact sunburst that was needed in our lives that night.

Life is like that. Storms move in and we often think it is the end of the world. Our faith is shaken and we wonder how we're going to survive. Then the Son bursts through the clouds and we realize that we're not as alone as we were thinking.

Our Savior is always there for us, no matter what trial we're enduring. He has experienced more than any of us can possibly comprehend, and His Atonement can heal our hearts if we will but turn to Him. When hearts are shattered, it is difficult to focus on the light He can bring into our lives. Our challenge is to look beyond the clouds, toward the Son-bursts of hope that will help us survive the difficult days ahead.

Hope Floats

It does, you know. No matter how hard it is held under, hope will always float to the top. I suspect the reason for that is, hope is lighter than the opposite which is gloomy despair, or painful discouragement.

Not long ago I attended an auxiliary training for our stake. There I experienced both ends of the spectrum. We were introduced to next year's YW theme, taken from Joshua 1:9. This new favorite scripture of mine says the following:

"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee, whithersoever thou goest."

To me, this scripture speaks of peace of heart and mind. It says in essence, that no matter what the days ahead may bring, we are not alone and things will be okay. True, we have to live up to our part of the deal--obeying the commandments is a solid guarantee that we will have the help of heaven to survive our challenges. It doesn't mean that there won't be any trials, for that is how we learn, grow, and prove ourselves while in mortal mode. What it does mean is that we shouldn't go around wringing our hands in fear. The Lord is with us, no matter where we are, or what we're facing.

So as I sat basking in the glowing warmth of the inspired scripture above, someone tried to pop my proverbial balloon. That night someone stressed that we need to be honest with our YW and tell them that the days ahead will be horrible. "These girls need to know what they will be facing, so they can be strong enough to do so. They need to know that things will keep getting worse and worse and that they need to be prepared."

Wow. Where did that come from? I'll admit, we live during a difficult time. Has it ever been otherwise? Has there ever been a time when there weren't challenges? Has the adversary ever crawled into a hole and left people alone for any amount of extended time? Nope.

I'm sure during both World Wars and the Great Depression, people weren't always dancing in the street for joy. Nor were they when the world's population waded through the dreary times known as the Dark Ages. So on and so forth.

In today's world, we enjoy more blessings than in any previous age. The number of temples now in operation should be reason enough to keep us rejoicing for a very long time. Despite the news stories that fill TV screens and computer screens alike, good things are happening in the world.

While I do plan to help our YW prepare for the challenges that lie ahead, I refuse to convince them that their future will "inhale" and it will be filled with terrible things. I've survived enough of those kind of trials to know that despite the very darkest day ever, there will be other days when the sun will shine brightly and hearts will fill with peace. It is my own opinion that we need to instill calming faith, not despairing fear inside the hearts of our vulnerable youth. Yes, there are a lot of trials currently taking place in the world, but dwelling on the negative things isn't what I think our Father in heaven would like for us to do.

During these turbulent latter days, we need to be a positive light in an ever-darkening world. Our balloons of hope need to be visible, dancing in the sunlight of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Favorite Fall Photos

People who know me well, know that I'm rarely without one of my cameras. It's a hobby, what can I say. ;) That said, periodically I manage to capture interesting moments in time. I figured for today's blog, I would share some of my favorite fall photos, taken about a week ago. There is one exception; the final picture is one my daughter-in-law snapped of my cute little granddaughter. But it's a cute fall picture and it shows how much she loved playing in the leaves, so I have to share. Enjoy and check back next week for more fun blog posts.

This is a shot I took up Emmigration Canyon.

This is a colorful hillside I snapped up Emmigration Canyon.

Here my spouse posing up nearby Maple Canyon, not far from our home.

Kennon had me pose in that same canyon. Maple Canyon is also where the first picture at the top of this blog was taken . . . in case anyone was wondering.

This is a picture I snapped up above Bennington in the nearby "Orchard," as we call it. Bennington is the small town where we reside.

This is a shot I captured when we were in the Crow Creek area on our way to Wyoming a few days ago. The sun was just starting to set and it made a gorgeous picture.

And as promised, here is the picture of my cute little granddaughter, playing in the leaves near her home. Aari loves being outside and she thoroughly enjoyed romping in the leaves that day.

If you get a chance this weekend, weather permitting, go out and enjoy what is left of the fall season. I absolutely love this time of year and I wish it would last longer than it usually does.

Shudder

To begin today's post, I'm sorry for not posting anything last week. I caught a vicious bug going around (shudder, shudder, cringe some more) and was pretty well wiped out for nearly 5 days. Good times--NOT! ;)

Enough said, and onto today's post, which is a review of a wonderful new book by Jennie Hansen. In my opinion, this new suspense novel will affect numerous lives in a good and positive way and I am honored to review it in a public fashion. This is a book that I highly recommend---if I posted stars as a rating system, it would rate 5 out of 5.


Jennie is a talented writer and author of several popular LDS books. She also writes informative and fair book reviews for Meridian Magazine, an online LDS resource. Jennie's latest release is a book entitled: "Shudder." In the pages of this book, Jennie has courageously tackled a difficult subject matter--spousal abuse. Borrowing from a paragraph in the acknowledgments of this significant book:

"Shudder is a book I knew I would write someday. During the years I worked as a reporter, served in Relief Society, and even while being employed as a librarian, I heard stories from lonely, isolated women. I witnessed the bruises, the broken bones, and the haunting fear in their eyes. I became the confidant and only friend of one such woman. I was a visiting teacher to another . . . I have heard General Authorities and prophets denounce those men who would inflict pain on their spouse and children, declaring them unworthy to hold the priesthood. The truth is that no woman deserves to be abused by the man to whom she has given her trust fully
. . ."

Jennie has done a great job of weaving a storyline that illustrates how devastating abuse can be, no matter the form. Verbal, physical and sexual abuse are wrong and lives are destroyed when this type of behavior takes place.

The two main characters of Shudder are close friends: Clare and Darcy. They grew up together, best friends who have always been there for each other. Surprisingly, their home lives were as different as day and night. Darcy grew up in a typical LDS home, one filled with loving siblings and parents who treated each other with respect. Darcy was raised with love and support and she matured into a loving, strong young woman with high ideals. Saddened by the tragic death of an older sister, Darcy rises above the challenges in her life to reach for important goals.

Clare, on the other hand, was raised by an ailing mother who eventually passed away, leaving the young woman on her own as an orphan. Though Darcy's family did their best to include her in important family gatherings, Clare struggles with an inherent emptiness. The need to be loved seems to be filled by a young man named Blaine. Clare falls in love with the attractive young man from a prominent family, unwilling to listen to Darcy's unease about the kind of person she suspects Blaine to be. His belittling manner and domineering ego clash with everything Darcy knows is good in a relationship.

Though Blaine is a returned missionary, his rude and selfish behavior indicate he is an aggressive predator. Closing her eyes to the danger, Clare ignores the warning signs that she is in an abusive relationship, and she acquiesces to Blaine's outrageous demands, certain that he is her knight in shining armor.

The final straw for Darcy is Blaine's insistence that he move in as a roommate to her and Clare. When Darcy refuses to cooperate, Blaine moves in behind her back, prompting Darcy to move out. From that point on, Darcy and Clare head in opposite directions. Clare accepts Blaine's proposal, and though her wedding is not what she had always dreamed it would be, she convinces herself that marriage to Blaine will fulfill her desire for a loving family. All too soon she realizes that Blaine is not the man she believes him to be and she turns to the one person who has always been there for her in the past, Darcy.

While all of this is taking place in Clare's life, Darcy continues with her education, completing her student teaching at a local high school. She meets and begins dating a wonderful young man named David. Unlike Clare's experience, Darcy establishes a healthy relationship with David, who embodies what a priesthood holder should be. Lending encouraging support, David helps Darcy survive a dangerous situation where both of their lives are in mortal peril.

Full of surprising plot twists, "Shudder" will keep you on the edge of your seat as you read on to see what happens next. This is a book every woman should read. Not only will it open the eyes of women who haven't experienced an abusive relationship, but it may give those who have the courage to reach for a different life.

Moxie In The Mix

I laugh every time I see the picture above. This is a shot of my little granddaughter, something I snapped in August during a family reunion. It was a blistering hot day, and before it was over, we were all wishing we were dressed like Aari. ;) There she was, balancing herself with one hand, lifting up something that to her was quite heavy. She was doing her best to imitate her daddy who was playing a similar game nearby.

Aari possesses moxie and this fills my heart with joy. She recently learned to walk and she now toddles everywhere, eager to explore life. This past weekend, I followed behind as she climbed something that to her, appeared to be a giant mountain. It was a long set of stairs in my sister-in-law's home, but to Aari, it was a steep challenge that beckoned and we both cheered when she reached the top.

Aari had a rough start in life. For months we agonized over a kidney problem that became apparent compliments of a series of ultrasounds. Before this tiny girl was born, it appeared that she would endure some health issues. At the very least, we were told that surgery would be required to fix the kidneys in the months following her birth. If things looked grim enough, transplants were in order down the road.

No one likes to be told that a tiny baby will be facing procedures of this magnitude. We fasted. We prayed. We kept her name and the names of her parents on temple prayer rosters. The biggie was maintaining our faith that all would be well. Then about a month before she made her arrival into this mortal realm, we witnessed a miracle---one kidney decreased in size, exhibiting signs that it was working properly as the swelling disappeared.

We cried with relief, expressing heartfelt gratitude to the One we knew had made this possible. But our celebration was dampened somewhat by the solemn face of a doctor who pointed out that the other kidney was still in trouble. He explained there wasn't time for the second kidney to improve on its own. It would need surgery after her birth.

It's a difficult thing to walk by faith. Doubting fear can rob us of peace of heart and mind, and in the weeks before Aari's birth, we agonized over what this precious child might have to endure. Still we prayed, clinging to a thin thread of hope that all would be well.

I was fortunate enough to be there at the hospital the night that Aari was born. She arrived into this world early on the morning of September 30th, 2008. And yes, we all cried as we took turns holding this beautiful baby girl who meant so much to us.

That first day, we also held our breath, hoping her kidneys would work. For hours we waited and when the waterworks in question didn't seem to be functioning, we prayed. Aari was taken back for another ultrasound to see what the kidneys and bladder now looked like.

We'd shed tears earlier, so there was no pride at stake when the doctor returned with Aari and very good news; her small bladder was filled to capacity. Both kidneys looked normal and appeared to be working just fine on their own. We cheered. We cried. And we prayed again, thanking God for another miracle.

Miracles do still happen. I've witnessed enough of those in my life to know that we seldom walk through life alone. We are watched over and helped far more than we ever fully realize.

During a challenging time in my life several years ago, I was blessed with a message dream. They don't happen very often, most dreams are silly nonsense, but once in a great while, when the need is great, an important message can surface in this format. Years ago I was given the following dream:

I was trying to walk up a golden staircase. Every step was agony and this effort required strength beyond my own to accomplish. Then my eyes were opened and I was shown that a dark force was doing their best to stifle me. Darkened hands reached for my feet, determined to block my way. Angels hovered nearby, allowing me to move forward on my own if I chose to take those precious steps. That part was up to me. The angels could keep the dark force at bay, as long as I kept moving forward, up the staircase toward an important goal.

I don't think it was a coincidence that the next morning, after waking from this extremely vivid dream, I found myself in the local drugstore where I saw a painting of a similar scene. A golden staircase rose toward heaven, and a solitary figure was making the climb. At the top of this picture were the following words: "Help me believe in what I could be, and all that I am. Show me the Stairway I have to climb, Lord, for my sake, teach me to take one day at a time."

Stunned, I purchased this picture with my prescriptions that day. I found a frame and it has hung in a place of honor in my computer room ever since. It's a reminder that even though we all have to make that climb, we never make it alone. Inner determination, something I call moxie, gives us the courage to keep taking those steps, even when it seems that all is lost.

Aari is a living example of what can happen when we choose to continue forward. It is my prayer that she'll continue walking forward up this fragile stairway we call life. It's something we all must do, taking it one determined step at a time, ignoring the doubting fear and darkened force that tries to stifle us. Reaching the top will take everything we can muster, but it is possible when we walk by faith, step by step, until our goals are realized.

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder . . .

Okay, I'm through stealing lines from "Princess Bride." For now. ;) I thought for today's blog post, I would share some pictures of a recent wedding in our family, something that took place on Saturday, October 3rd.

Here the groom (Jordan) is waiting anxiously for his bride.

Here we are, waiting for the festivities to take place: Kris, Devin, Derek, Kristen, Moi holding Aari, & Kennon. We were all very grateful that the weather cooperated that day.

Finally the wedding procession marched in. Here's the mother of the bride, Jackie, escorted by Cori's boyfriend, Abby, who accidentally got cut from the picture. (I do apologize about that.)

And here are Jordan's parents.

Cori was actually escorted in by someone else, but I owed Abby one for the earlier photo error. Aren't they a cute couple? ;)

Jonathan & Erica also made a cute couple. (Note how their outfits blend. It was a remarkable coincidence. =D)

And here the father of the bride, Curt, is escorting the beautiful bride, Cassi. Holding her train are the cute sons of Kalli & John.

Last but not least were the reluctant tikes who filled the roles of ring-bearer & flower girl. Janet the wedding planner did a great job of keeping everyone on track.

Grandparents, Bob & Verdene, looked spiff for the occasion.

Numerous relatives came for this event. Pictured here is Kenney, Trista, & Sheldon.

Presenting Mr. & Mrs. VanOrden.

Shortly after the wedding, we met up at the local church for the traditional wedding dinner.

The dinner was delicious and the company was fantastic. A good time was had by all. I understand Aunt Scoob was impressed with the silverware. ;) {Private joke}

Even the youngest member of the clan enjoyed himself. Li'l "Tater" loved being spoiled by his grandma Arvilla.


Before long it was time for pictures and a plethora of cameras made an appearance. Here Cassi is posing with her bridesmaids.

The entire Stucki Clan posed graciously for several different shots.

The reception was a great success and the line was steady throughout the evening. Then it was time to cut the wedding cake.

The traditional tossing of the bridal bouquet was next. It was so amazing that Cori was the one to catch it. ;)

It was day filled with romance, which may have inspired good brother Jeffy to whisper sweet nothings into his wife's ear. Dannyel was a good sport about that. ;)

To close, I'll end with another favorite quote from the movie, "Princess Bride":

"And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva . . ."