The Greatest Director of All

Today I'm going to touch on something that has been a weakness in my life, the fact that I often care too much about what other people are thinking or saying. This tendency is difficult when one is a writer, because criticism is rampant and even if the evaluations are just, it still stings. Learning to rise above all of that, and using the criticism to improve writing skills is crucial to being a successful author. It can be difficult, though, figuring out what to heed and what to ignore since some "helpful" opinions are less than that. ;)

Years ago, when my husband and I were first married, a woman in the community came up to me and said, "You are so lucky--your husband must really love you since he married you even though you're a diabetic." Ouch. I'm sure this person meant that comment as a compliment, but it wounded my pride all the same. It took a while for me to move past what that observation implied.

A couple of years went by and I was called to serve as the youngest Primary president our ward had ever experienced--to that point in time. Once again I faced an onslaught of criticism, and comments like: "She's too inexperienced!" "So and so would have been a better choice," & "What was our bishop thinking?" Feeling a bit worthless, I knelt down and poured my heart out to my Father in heaven. After that prayer, I climbed into bed, tossed and turned, and finally drifted off to sleep. I was blessed with the following dream, something that has helped me keep things in perspective ever since.

I was involved in several dramatic productions in high school and college. I'm certain that's why this particular dream began with me onstage. There I was, surrounded by the cast, ready to share my one and only line in the production. I uttered the small sentence, then ran down into the audience to see if everyone approved of how I had performed. "Did I enunciate clearly enough?" "Was I loud enough?" "Should I have said it a different way?" I asked these and other questions, hoping for positive feedback.

It took a while, but eventually I realized that the entire production had come to a halt because of my  interruption. Mortified by what I had done, I turned my back to the audience and hurried onto the stage so the play could continue. When it was over, I ran into the "green room," off stage and did my best to hide in the corner, still embarrassed over my blunder. Suddenly, it was announced that the Greatest Director of all was coming in to talk to us about our performance. Overwhelmed with humiliation, I tried to make myself as invisible as possible.

When the Greatest Director appeared in the doorway, a reverent hush fell over the room. We all knew who He was, and knelt in deference to our Savior. One by one, He talked to the entire cast, except for me. I continued to press myself into the corner, hoping He wouldn't notice me. He noticed. After He had spoken to everyone else, He approached my hiding place and gently pulled me from the corner. His eyes were filled with compassion and love as He helped me straighten in place. Then He looked directly into my heart and said, "I am the only one you need to please." He handed me another script and assured that I could handle the role I would now play. The dream ended and I woke up, filled with a strong sense of peaceful love.

I've reflected on that dream quite often in my life. It helped me survive my years as the youngest Primary president in our ward (even if we were dealing with 121 kids and new policy changes from SLC, like having to cancel the traditional Cub Scout Rodeo). It eased things for me when I served in other callings that stretched me in various ways . . . and when my first book was published and I faced a new round of interesting comments. ;) It comes to mind every time I've faced a difficult challenge. I often remind myself that even if I can't please those around me, if I've tried to do my best, keeping an eternal perspective in mind, then that's what matters most.

Book Review: Million Dollar Diva

Once again I take keyboard in hand (years ago one would say "pen" but times have changed) to review a book that has the potential to change your life for the better. I'll admit, most financial advice tomes are a bit dry and tend to leave you confused. Not this one. Written with the humorous touch of best-selling author, Tristi Pinkston, this wonderful book highlights the advice of two financial wizards, Brett Kitchen and Ethan Kap. Experts in their field, they not only know what they're talking about, but they explain how to get out of debt and get back on your feet financially in simple layman's terms. Their goal is to help people learn to save and survive during these tough economic times.

The entire title of the book is: "Million Dollar Diva, The Smart Woman's Guide to Getting Rich Safely." Only a hundred and seventy pages long, you can read it one sitting. I know this because when my copy first arrived, I sat down to thumb through it, and was still reading it an hour later. I couldn't put it down. Written in first person narrative by Tristi, she begins by sharing her own adventure of surviving a car accident with a semi-truck. She compares this near fatal disaster with how many of us are trying to cope with the outrageous interest rates and rising inflation costs of our current society.


Here's the best part, you can get this informative little book for free, if you click on this link (Click on me) and order it from the website. The only catch: you have to be willing to pay $5.95 for shipping and handling. This offer is only good until June 15th, so be sure to take advantage of it now. I can promise that you won't regret it.


If you would prefer buying the book outright from Amazon.com you can purchase it on this link: (Amazon link)


In Tristi's own words: "I didn't agree to write this book so I could spout out a bunch of feel-good platitudes, and then go on my merry or not-so-merry way. I agreed to write this book because I wanted this knowledge. I wanted to learn it, live it, and have a genuine experience with it . . . If you'll join me on www.milliondollardiva.com you'll see regular updates from me. I will show you what I've done that week or that month to get out of debt . . . This isn't hype . . . this is real . . . it's working for me and it could work for you, too."


Enough said. Click on the website and order your copy. It will lead you on a journey of transformation that will not only help you improve your life financially, but it will open a door to a sense of peace that is not easily found in today's trouble world.

One Step at A Time

So there I was, minding my own business, having a nice walk with a good friend when the phone call came. I answered my cell phone, then wished I hadn't. A relative was in a coma, near death, and one of his last requests had been to have me sing at his funeral. Nice.


If this sounds like a less than stellar attitude, let me explain: our family has been enduring a very challenging time. Though we're all trying to keep a positive frame of mind, sometimes the heartache of what a loved one is currently enduring creeps through. And in my case, I never know when the tears will surface. One minute I'm fine, then not so much. I find this annoying as I hate to cry in public.


Back to the phone call: as I've mentioned before, I grew up in a musical family. Music is part of my soul. Music touches me in ways I can't explain. It can propel me to spiritual heights, and pierce my heart like nothing else can. Singing at funerals is difficult for me, in part because of that, and also because of loved ones that I have lost--and the fact that I have sung at most of their funerals.


Despite all of this, I usually try to come through for people when this request is made. I understand how hard it is to pull a funeral together and how tender hearts are following the loss of a loved one. Singing at funerals is one way that I can serve those who are grieving. But there is one song I've haven't been able to perform since my husband's brother passed about 4 years ago. I was called upon to sing a song at his funeral that tore at my heartstrings. The emotions of that turbulent time collided with that particular song and I couldn't sing it alone. Fortunately, my kids came to the rescue and performed it with me that day. Things went well for us the day of the funeral, but since then, every time I hear that song, I tend to have leaky eyes. I can't stand to hear it, and I was convinced I would never sing it again.


This was the song I was being asked to sing at the dying man's funeral this past week. As I stood in shock, gripping my cell phone, the good friend who was with me reminded me to breathe. Wise advice, and sometimes all that we can do in these type of situations. As I agonized over what I was being asked to do, silently praying for guidance (it's not easy turning down a grieving almost-widow's request) a strong sense of peace filled my heart, and I agreed to perform the song. I reasoned that the coma could last for a while, and I would have time to get my act together before being called upon to sing. Wrong. He passed away that night.


Long story short, this past week has been a blur. But following promptings, I survived. I called upon a dear cousin of mine to help me pull this song together. With her help, and an outpouring of peaceful support from heaven, we were able to sing the song that was requested, and kept our emotions in check. Prayers were answered in a big time way, and we witnessed a mini-miracle with how well things went.
Once again I learned that when I place my trust in the Lord, despite how painful the path ahead might be, it can be walked with His help.


The day of the funeral as I nervously paced the floor of the room where my cousin and I were hiding before the program began, a dream came to mind. This was a dream that had surfaced for me during another challenging time years ago. The dream began with me trying to climb a set of golden stairs. It seemed like it took every bit of strength and courage that I could muster to take even one step forward. Then my eyes were opened. I could see that a dark force was trying to keep me stymied in place. But angels surrounded me, keeping that dark force at bay as long as I was willing to keep moving forward, one step at a time. How high I climbed was up to me--the angels couldn't make the journey for me. I had to do that for myself, but it was impressed upon me that I would never be alone.


I hope I will remember the lessons relearned this past week. I suspect I may need them in the days ahead as I continue trying to press forward, one golden step at a time.

Upon Life's Billows

A writer friend of mine recently wrote a blog post about song lyrics and since I've always loved music (I come from a  musically inclined family) I decided to share a lyric that has been going around in my head this past week. I won't lie--it has been a tough couple of weeks for our clan. We've been hit from all sides (or so it seems) and it's tempting to sit in a daze and wonder what it was we did to deserve all of this. Among other things, a much loved family member is facing a serious health battle. To her credit, she is doing so with courage, spunk, and humor. In the middle of all of that, our basement (which was finished) flooded while we were out of town. We returned home to quite the mess and spent several days trying to salvage what we could. Since the water (spring run-off that filtered through our septic tank into our basement) was tainted, we had to discard most of what it touched. This included numerous irreplaceable family photos, 121 books, and other family treasures like our sons' yearbooks, mission letters, musical instruments, most of the furniture, etc.

Later on as we were returning home from Salt Lake City where we had spent an anxious few days at a  hospital as Kennon's sister faced a scary surgery, we were involved in a car accident. Fortunately, no one was hurt seriously, including the nice young man who ran into the back of our car with his motorcycle. We limped home with a loose bumper and a deep gouge in the back of our small hybrid, something we'll eventually fix.

I'll admit . . . when I walked back inside my home later that night . . . a home that is filled with boxes of items we were able to save from our basement adventure . . . I started feeling just a little bit sad about everything. Why was all of this happening to us--and all at the same time? Somehow it seemed a bit unfair.

Then I remembered the motto that Kennon's sister and I had come up with a few days ago as I faced an unthinkable mess in my basement, and she was facing imminent risky surgery: "Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves and dive in the crap." Words to live by . . . at least for us right now.

Yesterday was also a soothing balm as inspired Church leaders shared comforting Conference talks that hit spot on, as an English friend of mine would say. There were so many good things said about dealing with trials, and the music was also a source of calming peace.

This morning, a favorite hymn keeps going around in my head (I suspect Someone wants me to pay attention). The words are as follows:

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev'ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

(Count Your Blessings--Lyrics by: Johnson Oatman Jr.)

These are indeed words to live by. So while I continue to sort through basement items now stored in the garage that we still may have to throw away, I will strive to focus on the countless blessings that have been granted this past week. Kennon's sister survived  a complicated surgery. She is doing amazingly well and is gearing up for a couple of weeks of physical therapy to restore the use of one leg. No one was seriously hurt in the accident we were involved in. We all walked away injury free. And despite the fact that I had to throw away 121 books, I probably saved close to 400. Almost every item lost in our flood can eventually be replaced, and if not--they are just things. What matters most are the items that we can take with us into the next realm, like family relationships, memories, knowledge, and testimonies that are often strengthened when we are tested and tried.

This difficult time will pass. I've survived enough of them to know that is true. The turbulent seas will calm. Life will go on, and the sun will eventually shine again after the storm. Hope exists and blessings do, too, despite the billows life sometimes brings our way.

Letting the Sunshine In

In January I was asked to write/direct our ward's roadshow. Good times. ;) Our theme this year: "Pick an Old Testament Story." I pondered for a time, then settled on the story of Moses, and his task to lead the children of Israel to freedom.


This story has often puzzled me. Through the help of the Lord, Moses was able to perform miracle after miracle. And these weren't just small, ordinary, every day miracles that take place all around us. These were huge, unforgettable show-stoppers, like causing horrible plagues among the Egyptians, parting the Red Sea, producing water from places where water didn't exist, bringing down manna from heaven, etc. The part that has always bothered me is that no matter what wonders the Israelites witnessed, they weren't satisfied. They were always complaining and murmuring, not to mention misbehaving when, say, Moses did things like meet with the Lord to receive important commandments and laws.


So this was the story chosen. I called the script: "Attitude is Everything--Or Why Moses Broke the Ten Commandments." Each line rhymed (an annoying habit of mine when I sometimes compose these type of things) and it was full of humor. When manna from heaven "came down," a loaf of bread was hurled onto the stage for the "children of Israel" to fight over. The birds that fell from the sky were represented by a  rubber chicken that was also thrown onto the stage. Etc. and so forth. I was hoping the youth that were involved in this production would absorb the teaching moment I prayed this production would be. At the end, we sang a song I remodeled. The lyrics are as follows:

Open Up Your Heart And Let The Sunshine In

(Modified by: Cheri J. Crane)

My mommy told me something
That everyone should know
It's all about how life should be
One’s attitude does show

She says it causes trouble
When you frown the live long day
Unhappiness is your choice
If you choose to be that way!

[CHORUS]
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sun shine in

When you are unhappy
You make others sad
Being grumpy is quite sinful
It means your attitude is bad

So if you're full of trouble
And you never seem to win
Just open up your heart
And let the sun shine in

[Repeat CHORUS]

I was so proud of my cast when they sang this song for the final performance. As it rang out through the audience, I found myself praying that the message we attempted to portray would be absorbed. We live in a difficult time. Trials and heartbreaking challenges surround us. And yet, despite it all, there is hope--but it's up to us to see it.


As often happens in my life, a strong analogy came to mind, one that had hit me between the eyes several years ago. I had been struggling with a bit of tribulation and woke up feeling less than cheery. In a dark mood, I stomped around, attempting to get ready for the day. As I made the bed and straightened things up in our bedroom, a task I usually complete first thing each morning, I noticed that the lighting didn't look right. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't opened the blinds that cover the window. As I walked over to accomplish this simple task, bright sunlight flooded inside that room. At that moment, a thought came to mind: "It's up to you to let the light in. It exists. It's there, but only you can open the blinds."


I've pondered that wisdom periodically . . . usually on bad days when nothing seems to go right. My attitude is up to me. I decide what kind of day I'm going to enjoy . . . or suffer through. There are days, however, when despite good intentions and positive outlook, tears still surface and heartache pierces through. Some trials are so difficult, we can't walk that path alone. Those are the times when we must trust in the Lord. If we'll simply look (Check out the story about the brazen serpent, found in both the Bible, and the Book of Mormon) we can live. Peace can enter even the most shattered heart. I've seen this happen repeatedly in my own life and I know it's true. Though I don't always succeed, I do try to look on the bright side whenever possible. I suspect that is a huge part of the test we call mortal life.

Book Review: "Retirement Quest: Make Better Decisions"

Retirement. This word inspires several images. For some it may trigger a mental picture of plush condos in a southern climate. {Especially if you live in the frigid north like Bear Lake, Idaho. ;) } For others, it may conjure up something like this:

Some of us are rapidly approaching the so-called, "Golden Years," and it can be a tiny bit scary, considering the current state of the economy. Fortunately, there is now a book that can help us wade through the quagmire of the financial world. It's entitled: "Retirement Quest: Make Better Decisions." This handy book is written by John Hauserman, a CFP, and executive officer of Retirement Journey, LLC. John is a 5-star wealth manager and in 2011, he was named the Baltimore area regional ambassador serving on behalf of the Certified Planner Board of Standards. In other words, John knows what he's talking about. ;)

In the pages of this book you will find unbiased advice that illustrates the highs and lows of the financial world. John explains what can happen in the best and worst case scenarios when planning for retirement. It is a much-needed heads up for anyone who is trying to figure out a financial game-plan for the retirement years. Throughout the book you will find highlighted tidbits like:


"Those who choose to spend their energy longing for the mythical safety of a bygone era, or who fail to find their way to thorough and competent planning strategies are likely to find a very harsh reality waiting at the end of their rainbow."


And:


"The widespread use of 401k and 403b retirement plans, and the forced discipline of automatic contributions . . . can, when executed properly, shift an enormous amount of wealth into the hands of the average rank-and-file worker."


John discusses the current state of the social security system and offers helpful ideas about how to cope with the changes that might be in store. He offers insights into risk management and counsel concerning investments. He also offers a no-cost, online interactive planning map for anyone who is interested in the financial planning process. (You can find it here: Retirement Quest Financial Map)


Toward the end of the book, John offers hope to anyone who is troubled by thoughts of retirement in today's economy: "For previous generations, retirement planning involved working for an employer for thirty or so years, retiring with a stipend, and dying a few short years later . . . Looking to the future . . . A worker who accepts the challenge of personal responsibility, builds a well-thought-out-long-term strategy, and invests accordingly may expect to build a significant amount of wealth. These assets can be used for retirement income, and may also provide an inheritance and legacy for families which might otherwise be destined to toil in perpetual financial want."

You can find John's website here: Retirement Quest and his book is available on this link at Amazon:
Retirement Quest: Make Better Decisions 

And in the Darkness--Light

I recently watched a very inspiring movie, entitled, "Soul Surfer." When I added it to my list of movies to watch from Netflix, I was impressed by the reviews, and that the storyline was based on something that really happened. I was unprepared for the impact this movie would have on me personally.


Now the title doesn't do the movie justice, but after seeing it, it is indeed appropriate. (Click on this link for more information: All About Bethany Hamilton) In a nutshell, this movie tells the story of a young, teenage surfer girl named Bethany Hamilton. She had already won several surfing competitions in Hawaii, and she was about to compete nationally when disaster struck: while out surfing one day with friends, she was attacked by a shark. This random act of violence caused Bethany to lose an arm. Her survival was miraculous, considering the loss of blood, and the distance she was from the nearest hospital.


While she was recovering, a wise doctor told her that she could still do anything she wanted in life--but that she would have to learn different ways to achieve her goals. Bethany still wanted to surf. Instead of giving up something she loved, a grim determination was born. She went back to the sea and her surfboard and despite several challenges, began to compete again.


When she lost the first competition, she was understandably distraught. She gave away her surfboards and decided she was through with surfing. In tears, she asked family members and friends why this had happened to her. She wondered how any of this could fit in with God's plan for her life.


I think there are moments in all of our lives when we reach that crossroad--when we wonder why certain challenges surface, some without warning. We are often left heartbroken, shattered, and questioning our faith. It can be a dark time, especially when the adversary sends forth his fiery darts. (Have you ever noticed that he tends to kick us when we're down?)


That is when we need to look around us for the light that is always there--even when we are shrouded in dark despair. I have found that those dark times are true character-building moments. When I have been driven to my knees--I have always found strength beyond my own. In my own life I have faced two life-threatening chronic illnesses (Type 1 diabetes & lupus) the suicide deaths of two family members (my father and my brother-in-law) financial setbacks, failures, and disappointments. I have survived two car accidents, one motorcycle accident, and as a teenager, an assault in the park across from our home at the time. I have accidentally poured hot oil over half of my body (this while working as a cook for a drive-in) and recently survived rolling a 4-wheeler down the side of a mountain. Through all of these, and other adventures, I have come to learn that no matter what it is that we are called upon to endure, we are never alone. Our Savior, who endured everything that any one of us would ever suffer, understands best how to heal our hearts. He will always provide a way for us to wade out of the dark pools of grief if we will simply look and live. (See 1 Nephi 17:40-41)


Now in Bethany Hamilton's case, she half-heartedly went with a youth group to offer aid to the survivors of the tsunami in Thailand. As she began helping others whose lives had been devastated, she found the hope to continue on with her own. When she returned to her home in Hawaii, she competed again in a national competition. She lost, but told her family she was fine with that since she had surfed one of the best waves of her life during the competition. "It's not about winning," she said proudly, thrilled by her performance. Incidentally, she went on to win this same competition the next year.


Not giving up is the key to moving forward when any of us are dealing with tragic loss or trials. Sometimes we need reminded of that fact. I know I did. It is important to look and live, so that one day we can return home to our Father with no regrets.


"And out of darkness came the hands that reach thro' nature, moulding men. " Alfred Lord Tennyson