Surviving Life's Storms

It has been a while since I composed a blog post. Life seemed to pick up speed with company coming, helping relatives move, and a little thing known as trigger finger. I've endured that last challenge before, and ended up having surgery on my left thumb to repair things. This time it's my right thumb that has been acting up, and since I'm right-handed, it has been less than pleasant. I've been wearing a special brace that is helping, and the swelling is diminishing, as is the tendency for the joint to lock in place. We're hoping to avoid surgery this time around--guess we'll see. Joys of diabetes combined with rheumatoid arthritis. Character building moments. ;) And all of these interesting spring storms aren't helping.

A couple of nights ago, we survived a particularly intense storm in our area. The wind picked up speed and blew in dark clouds. Rain descended in a frantic fury. It came down so hard, I was kind of glad I haven't been able to plant anything yet like flowers, garden, etc. I wasn't sure anything would've survived the impact. Suddenly the sky lit up as the storm morphed into a lightening show, complete with booming thunder. One blast hit so close, it seemed as though our entire house shook. Needless to say, I didn't fall asleep very early that night--the storm held my rapt attention.

Is it me, or have there been more than the usual amount of storms occurring lately? Watching the weather channel is transfixing these days. I'm not sure I've ever seen so many varying natural disasters compliments of Mother Nature take place in such a short period of time. It seems to go along with what is happening in our personal lives. People are being hit from every direction with all kinds of challenging moments.

It made me think of another time--a year when everything seemed to hit the fan at the same time. It was 1983, the year my first son was born. In that one year, I was placed on insulin permanently--I developed blood clots in the main vein of my left leg--and just as I was literally getting back on my feet, my father committed suicide. Although a wonderful event had occurred with the birth of our son, in many ways, it was a terrible year--one major emotional storm after another until I felt like I was drowning.

One of the things that helped me through was writing out everything I was feeling. On the nights I couldn't sleep, I filled page after page with inner pain, shredding these pages into the garbage when I was finished. I didn't realize it, but I was doing my own form of therapy. And in time, I was hooked on writing. I felt better when I wrote things out. I just wish I would've kept some of what was written. For nearly 2 years of my life, there is no written record of any kind--but maybe it's better that way.

Two years later, I began writing a story. It was in essence my story, but I changed some of the circumstances to make it easier to read and write. That was the first manuscript I ever put together. It was entitled, "Still Water Runs Deep," my first attempt at writing a novel. Eight years later my sixth attempt at composing a manuscript was published by Covenant Communications, the book that would eventually be known as "Kate's Turn."

Something good and positive came out of a situation that was devastating. It's a lesson I've tried to remember: good things can come out of difficult times. I know I was strengthened in many ways.For instance, I learned to rely on my Father in heaven as night after sleepless night I poured out my heart to Him. He alone understood the pain in my heart. Actually, there was Someone Else who understood what I was going through, my Savior, Jesus Christ. He truly has endured every pain any one of us will ever suffer. (See Alma 7:11)

But there were days when some of the self pity stuff would surface. I remember one day I was feeling quite blue about losing my dad. I picked up my guitar and began composing what I thought would be a sad song, something to express what I was feeling. To my annoyance, it morphed into an upbeat ditty about hanging in there during challenging times. (Yes, I believe our Heavenly Father possesses a sense of humor.) Regardless, that particular song became quite popular in our area. I performed it on several programs, and was later asked to record it on a cassette tape the high school music teacher put together that year with a lot of the local talent. They used the title of my song as the title of the cassette since it was the only original song performed, and we didn't have to worry about copyright adventures. ;) Ironically, it was about surviving life storms. I'll conclude this post by sharing the words to that song. And when storms descend in our lives, remember, there is always hope, no matter how dark the skies may seem:

Colors of the Rainbow

1^st  Ev’ry so often, storms will come our way

Sometimes they’ll stay forever, sometimes for just a day

And when the wind is howling and the clouds block out the sun

And the crackling sound of lightening, strikes fear in ev’ry one

Hold on tight together as the rain starts pouring down

For the colors of the rainbow will soon come, shining ‘round.

2^nd Ev’ry so often, trials will come our way

Sometimes they’ll stay forever, sometimes for just a day

And when your heart is breaking and the pain blocks out life’s light

And the hope for a new tomorrow, never seems in sight

Hold on to one another as the rain starts pouring down

For the colors of the rainbow will soon come, shining ‘round

(Repeat 1^st verse)

Cheri J. Crane

Are The Stars Still There?

It seems like our valley has been hit from every direction in recent days. Most people are enduring trials of some nature--heart-rending challenges that overwhelm. I woke early this morning, troubled by some of the things taking place. It doesn't help that today marks the anniversary of a tragic loss in our family. I found myself staring out the front room window at the bright stars still visible, and it triggered a memory of another time when life was less than fun. I'd like to share a journal entry I wrote then:

 November 5, 1996

". . . A few weeks ago, I had been feeling quite discouraged. I think we all experience times like that in our lives, moments when we wonder why life has to be so challenging. I don't feel that way all of the time, but for some reason, at that particular instance, despair seemed to creep inside my heart. One night when everyone else in my family had gone to bed, I wandered outside. Sometimes listening to the night sounds brings comfort and so I sat on the porch and listened for a bit. I remember silently praying, asking why I was feeling this way. The thought came to mind, "There is still beauty in the world." I agreed, but still wanted to know why things seemed so bleak. I had been having some challenging health problems and there were several trials taking place with some of my extended family members. As I wondered why everything had to be so hard, I stood and glanced up at the sky. It was one of those star-filled nights--the entire sky was lit with stars. Again the thought came to mind, "There is still beauty in the world." As I gazed at the stars, I noticed that clouds were moving in. This is something that has probably occurred millions of times, but for once, I was watching as it happened. Within minutes, every star was covered. As I stared at the sky, I was so amazed by how quickly the clouds had moved in. Another thought came to mind, "Are the stars still there?" With that thought came the peace I had been seeking. Other thoughts came, "Is the Church still true? Does your Heavenly Father love you? Did your elder Brother lay His life down for you? Are all of these things true despite the discouragement, despite the challenges, the heartaches, the pains of life? Are the stars still there?"

The lesson I was taught that night has been such a comfort. Every time I start feeling a little down, it comes to mind: "Are the stars still there?"

To make a long story short . . . [I had an impression that] I should write a song based on that theme . . .  Here are the lyrics:

                                  Are The Stars Still There?

By: Cheri J. Crane

1st:

Dark were my thoughts--all around were storms of heartache and strife

All those tests that sometimes just go with life

Mountains that seemed too steep to climb.

I walked outside--to clear my head and ask my Father, "Why?"

My inner peace had dissolved for a time

Where was the faith that was mine?

Chorus:

Staring at the star-filled sky--my heart revealed its inner cry

"Father, if You're listening help me know the reason why."

A thousand tiny twinkling lights were covered, hidden from

my sight

Grey clouds veiling light that once had shone so bright.

Darkness seemed to fill the night as every star was veiled

from sight

Yet peace crept in my heart and comfort eased the black despair

As the question came, "My child, my child--Are the stars still there?"

2nd:

Now when dark thoughts come and some nights seem too long

I remember the words of this song

When everything seems to go wrong

The answer to my prayer--the night I struggled with despair

The night my Father heard my silent prayer

And reminded me the stars are always there.

Chorus:

Our Father's love is always there--through layers of grief and care

Hope is shining brightly through the clouds of dark despair

A thousand tiny twinkling lights--though covered, hidden from our sight

Grey clouds veiling light that once had shone so bright.

Though darkness seems to fill the night--And every star is veiled from sight

Peace and love seep through to ease the black despair--

Remember the question--"My child, are the stars still there?"

Taking Offense When None is Intended

Is it me, or does it seem lately like people are more easily offended . . . usually over silly things that don't really matter? Like the day I drove one of those riding carts some stores furnish for people that have a hard time getting around. My mother wasn't feeling well that day, and sometimes riding a cart like that makes it possible for her to shop. She has rheumatoid arthritis and knees that have seen better days. Those riding carts have been a life-saver for her, and we appreciate the stores that furnish such items. There wasn't one on the side of the store we entered on the day in question, so I helped her to a bench at the front of the store and ran down to the other end to see if I could find a riding cart there. I found one, and then proceeded to drive it down to where my mother waited. Wow did I get dirty looks from a woman who had seen me run down to that end to retrieve the riding cart. She was mortally offended--the look on her face spoke volumes. She made sure I saw the unpleasant look on her face before she huffed out of the store. In an instant she had made herself the judge and jury over a case she didn't even understand. To her, the judgement was sound and fair. It didn't matter that she had missed the entire reason for my erratic behavior. Nor had she witnessed the countless times I have purposely parked clear out in the north 40 to make sure those with physical challenges have a closer place to park near a store. None of that mattered. She had seen all she needed to see before passing judgement. I'm sure she shared with anyone who would listen how terrible I was to use a riding cart when I obviously didn't need one.

I'm sure we've all been there--condemned by those who don't have all of the facts. People witness something with tunnel vision, and then make it worse by jumping to conclusions. I've been on both sides of this type of drama. We're all human, and we all make mistakes. We see a portion of what is really taking place, and then choose to be offended by what we perceive to be a slight directed toward us, when in reality, it had nothing to do with us at all.

I'll conclude this post by sharing some thoughts on this matter. Hopefully when we are tempted to jump to conclusions, maybe we'll pause a moment to consider that we may not always know the whole story. Think about what is most important, and give those around us the benefit of the doubt:



“Time is the justice that examines all offenders.” William Shakespeare

 “I'll not willingly offend, Nor be easily offended; What's amiss I'll strive to mend, And endure what can't be mended.” Isaac Watts

“An offended heart is the breeding ground of deception.”  John Bevere

“To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”  David A. Bednar

"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool." Brigham Young

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Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you. Joel Osteen
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Ice Happens

I apologize for not posting anything lately. Life has been acting like the ice on a local lake, and has piled up, with one adventure after another. That seems to be a current theme for many of us in 2016. We just think things will settle down, and wham, along comes another character building moment. ;) I'm beginning to think that's part of why we're here--part of our earthly education. You just think you're getting everything figured out, and life happens. It can be a health dilemma, death of a loved one, or a myriad of trials that affect the people we love. Sometimes financial setbacks take the reins, or little things, like dropping a metal container of heavy dominoes on one's foot. (Yep, I'm still dealing with that last item. Not my idea of a fun time, and about the 6th broken toe I've endured through the years.)

Suddenly we find ourselves floundering in a sea of turmoil and pain as wave after wave of physical or emotional challenges threaten to sink our boat. That's when we long for the safety and comfort of the shore. We can often see it in the distance--a safe harbor where life starts making sense again, but while we're doing our best not to drown, we sometimes struggle with making it to a refuge of protection and peace.

In recent weeks, we've dealt with a son who had to endure a painful surgery, an aging parent, who despite getting the flu shot, caught a version of the flu anyway,  interesting weather fluctuations and corresponding arthritis flares, one disaster after another in our local ward and community, as well as challenges in our extended family.

There were good things, too, like several births of cute babies, a niece's mission call, as well as the mission call for one of the YW I used to serve during my last tour of duty as a YW leader. Last night we learned where a favorite aunt and uncle will be serving their mission. All wonderful news moments! And we were able to go through the temple with both of those young ladies mentioned above. Awesome experiences.

My calling in the R.S. keeps me hopping, but often in a good way. So on and so forth. In short, currently we're not meant to be bored. I suspect it's part of the joy of our current time. ;)

So how do we find our way to the shore when we suddenly find ourselves blown out to the middle of a turbulent trial? I'll admit, it's not easy. I've sometimes felt like I will always be stuck out where the water is too deep and the wind is extremely nasty. Then little things happen that help me find my way. Items like prayer, scriptures that provide comfort and guidance, upbeat or positive thoughts, a hug from a loving friend, a song that contains a soothing message, and sometimes just a realization that one day, all of this will make sense. One of my favorite poems talks about the shaping of a tapestry, and how at first it seems like a jumbled mess of color. Then gradually a beautiful picture emerges and you see that all of the colors were required to create a completed masterpiece.

Despite how it feels at the time, there is a reason for the good and bad items that happen in our lives. One of the most difficult things we will ever do is to place our trust in our Savior. As the saying goes, "when we get all wrinkled up with worry and care, it's time to get our faith lifted." I often reflect on Peter, and the great faith he possessed as he began to walk out on the water to reach the Savior. True, he had his moment of doubt and discouragement, but our Savior was right there to catch him before he drowned. The same is true for all of us. Since Jesus suffered more than any of us can possibly comprehend, and willingly endured what all of us would experience, (see Alma 7:11-12) we need to remember to trust in Him, and to allow Him to shoulder our burdens.

I've had to do that a couple of times in my life. There have been dark nights when I thought I would never sleep again, or feel comforting peace. When I finally ceased ranting, raving, and being obnoxiously angry, that peace has come. But I have to be humble enough for it to enter my heart.

There is a famous picture of the Savior standing outside of a door, knocking. The only available doorknob exists inside. It is symbolic of the fact that He is always there to help us, but it is up to us to let Him into our lives.

So on those days when you are feeling tempest tossed (as the popular hymn advises) remember to count the blessings in your life and know that God is indeed over all. Things will eventually settle into place, and safe harbors do exist. We merely have to steer toward them and trust in the One who understands us more than we understand ourselves.