Beauty Is Truly in the Eye of the Beholder

A few years ago I stood on a small hillside overlooking a field below. To the casual observer, there wasn’t anything special about this place. To me, it is a site of historical significance, a place of peace and solace where unexpected healing can transpire.

I had been there once before, ten years earlier. At that time, our family had traveled with close friends. As we exited our cars, most of us experienced a sense of profound reverence. Even our children were whispering as we walked around. My oldest son later told me it was like being in the temple. I tend to concur with that opinion. 

While there, two close friends and I wandered into the trees on the small hillside. It was a pain-filled day for one of us—it marked the birthday of a beloved daughter who had passed away a few months before. As our friend quietly grieved for her daughter, a beautiful young woman who would have been fifteen, we walked in silence, yearning for comfort.

We had brought along a small vase containing flowers that were originally meant for an ancestor’s grave. Two of us share a common lineage and we had planned to leave that vase of silk flowers on a grandmother’s grave in Nauvoo. To our sad shock, we learned that her grave was among those lost when mobbers ruined the old cemetery. And so we brought that vase of flowers with us as we wandered into the heart of Adam-Ondi-Ahman.

It didn’t take us long to find a beautiful place to leave the vase—a tribute to our friend’s daughter. As we stood together, gazing down at the flowers, a peaceful love eased our heavy hearts. Somehow we knew life would go on, despite the pain of that time. It was the first ray of hope to brighten that dismal day.

When we eventually walked out to where our families were waiting, the three of us passed by a young couple. They were glaring around as if puzzled. Both were shabbily dressed, and the young man held a can of beer in his hand. “What’s so special about this place?” he growled as we walked past. It was like a slap in the face after the spiritual boost we had experienced in that same location.

The three of us later talked about that day and we decided that so much of what we encounter in life depends on our mindset. If we are prepared to embrace truth and beauty, we will find it. If our expectations are lower, we will find that, too.

Ten years later as I stood on that same hillside, seeking solace for a silent grief I carried, I felt very much alone. I was the only one who wanted to be there that day. Everyone else thought stopping in this out of the way location was a waste of time. While my traveling companions stood around, discussing the plainness of the area, I slipped off alone.

Once again prayers were answered and the peace I had been seeking was granted. That spiritual experience would carry me through several darkened days that were ahead. I will be forever grateful for the vision of hope that slipped into my heart to sustain me when the need was great.

It was a witness to me of the importance of faith . . . and attitude. Those two items truly make a difference in how we see the world. We could be standing in the most beautiful spot in existence, but if our minds and hearts aren’t open, we will miss what is there. Do we see the beauty, or do we focus on the flaws? I suspect those questions are of eternal significance, when all is said and done.

Exciting New Book!

I've heard it said that desperation is the mother of all invention. This often happens in my own life when I'm in the middle of creating delicious cuisine for supper and realize I'm missing some of the key ingredients. =) Since it's more than a hop, skip, or a jump to the nearest store, I usually come up with a different way to tackle the meal in question.


I suspect we've all experienced moments in our lives when we've faced a challenging problem and had to think of a way to handle it in a creative fashion. Like last year at girls' camp when the girls from my ward invented a way to keep the food tent upright. It looked something like this:

What you can't see is the heavy rock they tied to one end of a rope to balance the weight of the tent. They threw it up into the pine tree, using a limb to hold the rope in place. And it worked! True ingenuity! =)


Three sisters that I know used a combination of meditation, prayer, and inspiration to come up with a solution to a dilemma they faced. Their mother had suffered from ill health for quite some time. She was unable to speak and though her mind was sharp until her death, her inability to express her needs was extremely frustrating to everyone involved. Susan, Jean, and Trudy often agonized over how they could help their mother and did their best to serve as translators for the hospital staff until their mother passed from this mortal world.


Susan's husband was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease shortly after these three sisters lost their mother. Once again this family was faced with the problem of being able to communicate with a loved one. Toward the end of Clayton's life, it was nearly impossible for him to express his needs to the hospital staff. In Jean's own words: "No patient should have to suffer such frustration in trying to express simple needs."


She began praying for answers and eventually, some ideas came to mind. She envisioned a small book with simple sentences that corresponded to brightly colored icons. The patient could point to the icons to communicate with hospital staff, family, or friends.


Jean shared her ideas with her sisters, and soon the three of them began working together to create this book. Trudy is a gifted artist and she began coming up with ideas for the icons. Susan and Jean spent hours constructing simple sentences that would help most patients convey their needs or concerns. When it was finished, they used the proto-type with Clayton and were amazed by how well it worked.


Most hospitals have flash cards that are used when patients struggle to communicate. The problem with the cards is the time it takes to find the right one. With this book, the patient can quickly locate the icon that represents his or her concern. It has been used with numerous patients and all have expressed how helpful it has been in situations where communication is limited.


When Susan, Jean, and Trudy saw how well their proto-type worked, they decided to get this helpful tool published. It is now available for purchase on this link:   Communication for the Cognizant Nonverbal Patient This sixteen page book has the potential to help most patients who struggle with communication. I've been impressed with its ability to help those who cannot express themselves.


In recent months, one of my Laurels (yes, I'm still serving as the fearless leader for the YW in our ward) was seriously injured in a car accident. She was comatose for a time, and when she finally regained consciousness, she was unable to speak. Susan is her aunt and she loaned the proto-type of this book to her niece and her family. It proved to be an invaluable resource, providing a way for my Laurel to speak with a different voice until hers was restored. 


I predict this little book will help countless lives. I am convinced that Jean, Susan, and Trudy were inspired to create it. For less than what you would pay for three gallons of gas, you can have a book on hand that may help a member of your family to maintain dignity and peace of mind. 


If you are interested in learning more, click on  My Companion Voice Blog or go to Facebook and visit My Companion Voice.

Conference . . . in General

I love it when Conference weekend rolls around! It's more than the fact that I have a weekend off from all of the normal meetings that go along with my current calling (YW President). Though I also love lounging around in comfort at home with cool nibblies (my definition of tasty snacks) as I savor each talk, it's more than that, too.

I take lots of notes. Tons of notes. Someday when I'm dead and gone, my children will grimace when faced with the task of sorting through their mother's notes. I suspect they'll all get filed in the infamous "g" container and hauled off to the local dump. =)

For me, it's comforting to record bits and pieces of wisdom and peace that I glean from each talk. I write down impressions that come to mind, and scriptures that are shared. The latter item mentioned has become a bit more involved since most of the speakers no longer share the references. But I use a few key words to find those scriptures in the topical guide of my trusty quad.

I use tiny notebooks to record my infamous notes. Not only are they easy to haul around, but I can fit two or three in my scripture bag for later perusal. I'm planning on keeping this current notebook in my purse. There are days when I need those words of comfort and advice. Times when I need reminded of the peace I felt when a certain scripture was shared. I like having those items handy when I need them the most.

Here are some of the favorite thoughts I've gleaned this past week. This includes the talks given during the General YW broadcast:

"Make the Savior the center of our lives."

"Everyone is our neighbor!"

"Do a Samaritan-like act this week!"

"We do not run alone in this great race of life."

"Children are the key to helping us become like our Savior."

"The way we treat others reflects our devotion to the Savior."

"No pain we suffer is wasted."

"Angels sustain us during difficult times."

"LDS women are incredible!"

"Have I done any good in the world today?"

"We are often sent wake-up calls."

"The husband is the head of the family--the wife is the heart."

"Fear should not displace faith."

"Desires dictate our lives."

Etc. and so forth. As you can see, this is already quite a lengthy list and I barely scratched the surface of what I recorded. =) I also have a new favorite scripture: Hebrews 12:11. I didn't even have it marked in my set of scriptures---until yesterday. This scripture talks about trials, and the fact that we don't enjoy those challenges when they surface in our lives, but we always gain from those experiences.

Wow---I can't even put into words the insights I've gleaned from all of these inspired talks. As Elder Jeffery Holland stated yesterday, these messages are for us. They will help us survive the trying days ahead. They will bring comfort and peace, and nudges concerning the areas where we need improvement. Armed with their power, we can thrive during these interesting latter days.

Half Empty or Half Full?

I'm sure we've all heard the adage: "It's important to see the cup half full." Some people see it half-empty on a frequent basis. Personality types are often determined by how we see that elusive cup. Sometimes it depends on the day. I've spent much of my life trying to see the cup half full. But there are days, like this entire past month, when that cup has been looking a tad bit on the empty side. True, I'm still wading through the grief that goes along with losing a good friend. (See post below.) One day I'm fine and figure I've moved on---the next day, not so much. It becomes a balancing act between forcing a smile and ignoring inner pain. One of the lifelines that helps me survive this process is having a sense of humor. A good laugh goes a long way toward easing turmoil. I've also learned that service is a great way to heal. Doing something for someone else chips away at the icebergs that sometimes erupt within our hearts.

We live in a challenging time. (Understatement of the year!) I suspect it has always been thus. There have always been wars and rumors of war. People have always struggled from day to day to make a living. I also think parenting has always been an adventure (think of how our first parents must have felt when one son killed the other--I'm just sayin'). I seriously doubt when we compare notes on the other side, we'll point fingers and say, "Oh, yeah, well you lived during an era of complete and utter peace. There were no trials, no disappointments, no heartaches." There might be one exception to this train of thought, and that would involve those lucky types who will dwell during the millennium, and I think even then, there may be a challenge or two to test their mettle.

Life is a test. My paternal grandmother used to tell me that this world is a giant classroom and we never know when we'll get hit with a pop quiz. Truer words were never spoken. I also think one of the most significant lessons we'll ever grasp during this mortal education is the importance of having a good attitude. This is often difficult when we're covered in something like boils (See the book of Job), swallowed by a whale (See the book of Jonah, or Pinocchio), or driving in Utah (see list of least friendly places to drive).

This attitude extends to how we treat each other. Are we nice to the poor clerk at the store who is paid minimum wage to endure the wrath of miffed bargain shoppers? Do we smile while waiting in the never-ending line at the post office? Are we overly-critical of others who don't measure up to our expectations? Do we take our very bad day out on the people who should mean the most to us?

Since we're all very different, we think in varying ways. We believe in all kinds of things, but there is one item we should consider: We are supposed to look on the bright side whenever possible and play nice with others. If you ever doubt this philosophy, review the Sermon on the Mount.

Bottom line, when this life is but a memory, the thing that will matter most is how we played the game. Were we fair, honest, obedient? Did we try to help others? Were we kind in our dealings with those around us? Did we bring joy into the world . . . or did others tip toe around us because our cup was half-empty and our attitude reflected this mindset? Something to ponder daily. Do we see the cup half-empty or half-full? This question may have eternal significance someday. Definitely a compelling point to consider.

Digging Out

I apologize for not posting anything for a couple of weeks. Life happened and things have been crazy. Ironically, the day of my last post, (the irony is in the content of that post) a good friend of mine suffered a silent heart attack and passed quietly from all of our lives. It was such a shock to me. We've been friends for years, and had fought the same battle against Type 1 diabetes.

She was the one who talked me into seeing a wonderful diabetic specialist in Idaho Falls years ago. Since she just lived down the street from me at the time, we began traveling back and forth together, teaming up to wage war against the dreaded illness that threatened to take over our lives. We refused to let it, and we proved it by forming a local diabetic support group for all of those brave souls who were fighting a similar battle in our county.

We were also called upon to run booths at the health fairs sponsored by our local hospital for several years. And I've lost count of how many newly diagnosed diabetics we visited in our quest to offer hope and courage to those who felt like their lives had been turned upside down.

In short, this good friend and I shared a bond that ran fairly deep. We understood how "fun" the tight-rope of diabetes could be on occasion. We laughed over things no one else understood as we defied the odds on a regular basis.

Eventually this good friend of mine moved 30 miles away, but we still teamed up for various things like our support group meetings, the health fairs, etc. We kept in touch through phone calls, Christmas cards, and ran into each other on occasion at the varying stores in town.

I didn't realize when I ran into her a couple of months ago, it would be my final chance to visit with her in mortal mode. When the phone call came the day of her heart attack, I was unprepared to say goodbye. And a few days later when her body was unhooked from life support, it was like a bomb had gone off in my life.

I was asked to give the opening prayer at her funeral, and I struggled to pull things together to do so. For days it seemed like all I did was cry. With the passage of time it gets easier to breathe, but this has been a loss that has cut deep.

The past few days I've watched in a daze as Japan reels from the mayhem of a horrible disaster. I see the images of destruction and I sit in shock, wondering how these brave survivors will ever rebuild. But in my heart, I know they will. In time, these industrious people will rise above this tremendous challenge and they will learn to go on, despite the pain they will carry inside. So much has been lost, and yet with each new day, hope lives on.

That is what most of us try to do when challenges overwhelm. Eventually, we start picking up the pieces in an attempt to put things back together. We dig out from under the tidal wave of grief to go on. I've been challenged to get back into writing, and it's helping. Writing has always been a comforting balm for me--it was part of what helped me survive my father's suicide years ago.

The other day I wrote a poem I'll probably never let anyone see, but it helped to release some of the heartache. I will find other ways to dig out and one day I will smile again and actually mean it. Until then, I will take life one day at a time as I continue to carry the torch Denise has passed on to me.

It's snowing today. This past week we've endured a plethora of snow storms, each one leaving an impressive amount of the fluffy white stuff in its wake. As such, I've heard a lot of complaints about this year's wintry weather. They hate that we have 2-3 feet of snow on the level, in comparison to other places that barely have a skiff, if that. They want spring NOW! And there are days when I agree with that sentiment, like when I'm traveling and the roads are slick. =)

Some people find this time of year to be depressing. They travel to places where the sun is shining brightly, in the hopes of renewing their spirits. This works for a time. Then, as with all vacations, it's time to come home to the snow.

I sense there is a little analogy hidden in all of this. Winter has always symbolized a state of rest, or in some cultures and religions: death. All that is living hibernates for a time, buried beneath a blanket of white.

Then spring arrives, bringing new life into the world. The snow melts, the flowers bloom, the grass is restored to a shiny green. Spring represents the resurrection of all living things. It is a time we all enjoy as we push aside the knowledge that in a few short months, we will be wading through the snowy season once again.

I suspect this is one of those teaching moments our Father hopes we'll grasp--that we'll reflect on the importance of life, making the most of the time we have in mortal mode. He longs for us to shine forth as the flowers in the spring, until the snowy season arrives when all growth is at rest.

I also believe that He wants us to realize that spring will always follow winter. A restoration of all things will occur when the time is right. Until then, we should look for the beauty of whichever season is currently taking place, appreciating with gratitude all that we've been given.

Oh, Deer!

This past week I had an opportunity to photograph several deer that are currently in residence along the east side of Bear Lake. In lieu of a regular blog post, I thought I would share several photos instead. Enjoy!

Several of the deer seemed delighted to pose for me. =)

This one was a little bit shy. ;)

Here were a couple of cute fawns who were too small to jump over the fence with their mother.

This is where the mother of the twin fawns headed, to hang out with her peeps on the other side of the fence. There were about 20 head of deer in this location.

Here's one that was playing peek-a-boo near the lake.

This little guy was so cute! =) And what a little ham. He posed quite well for me.

This one was patiently waiting for her turn. ;)

We also saw a few eagles that day. Here's one posing with his breakfast.

It was a rather misty day. This is a cool shot I captured of the sun, covered by fog.

Here is a nifty shot of the mist fading, allowing the sun to shine through.

Once the sun was visible, the lake returned to its normal hue of gorgeousness.

And the deer enjoyed the sun as well.

On our way back through Dingle, the mist moved back in. But we could still see a group of deer frolicking on top of a haystack.

This final shot was also taken near Dingle. You may note that there are a couple of bucks hanging out with these does. One poor dude has orange twine wrapped around one of his antlers. Most uncool. However, he wasn't about to let me help him get untangled.