Are The Stars Still There?

It seems like our valley has been hit from every direction in recent days. Most people are enduring trials of some nature--heart-rending challenges that overwhelm. I woke early this morning, troubled by some of the things taking place. It doesn't help that today marks the anniversary of a tragic loss in our family. I found myself staring out the front room window at the bright stars still visible, and it triggered a memory of another time when life was less than fun. I'd like to share a journal entry I wrote then:

 November 5, 1996

". . . A few weeks ago, I had been feeling quite discouraged. I think we all experience times like that in our lives, moments when we wonder why life has to be so challenging. I don't feel that way all of the time, but for some reason, at that particular instance, despair seemed to creep inside my heart. One night when everyone else in my family had gone to bed, I wandered outside. Sometimes listening to the night sounds brings comfort and so I sat on the porch and listened for a bit. I remember silently praying, asking why I was feeling this way. The thought came to mind, "There is still beauty in the world." I agreed, but still wanted to know why things seemed so bleak. I had been having some challenging health problems and there were several trials taking place with some of my extended family members. As I wondered why everything had to be so hard, I stood and glanced up at the sky. It was one of those star-filled nights--the entire sky was lit with stars. Again the thought came to mind, "There is still beauty in the world." As I gazed at the stars, I noticed that clouds were moving in. This is something that has probably occurred millions of times, but for once, I was watching as it happened. Within minutes, every star was covered. As I stared at the sky, I was so amazed by how quickly the clouds had moved in. Another thought came to mind, "Are the stars still there?" With that thought came the peace I had been seeking. Other thoughts came, "Is the Church still true? Does your Heavenly Father love you? Did your elder Brother lay His life down for you? Are all of these things true despite the discouragement, despite the challenges, the heartaches, the pains of life? Are the stars still there?"

The lesson I was taught that night has been such a comfort. Every time I start feeling a little down, it comes to mind: "Are the stars still there?"

To make a long story short . . . [I had an impression that] I should write a song based on that theme . . .  Here are the lyrics:

                                  Are The Stars Still There?

By: Cheri J. Crane

1st:

Dark were my thoughts--all around were storms of heartache and strife

All those tests that sometimes just go with life

Mountains that seemed too steep to climb.

I walked outside--to clear my head and ask my Father, "Why?"

My inner peace had dissolved for a time

Where was the faith that was mine?

Chorus:

Staring at the star-filled sky--my heart revealed its inner cry

"Father, if You're listening help me know the reason why."

A thousand tiny twinkling lights were covered, hidden from

my sight

Grey clouds veiling light that once had shone so bright.

Darkness seemed to fill the night as every star was veiled

from sight

Yet peace crept in my heart and comfort eased the black despair

As the question came, "My child, my child--Are the stars still there?"

2nd:

Now when dark thoughts come and some nights seem too long

I remember the words of this song

When everything seems to go wrong

The answer to my prayer--the night I struggled with despair

The night my Father heard my silent prayer

And reminded me the stars are always there.

Chorus:

Our Father's love is always there--through layers of grief and care

Hope is shining brightly through the clouds of dark despair

A thousand tiny twinkling lights--though covered, hidden from our sight

Grey clouds veiling light that once had shone so bright.

Though darkness seems to fill the night--And every star is veiled from sight

Peace and love seep through to ease the black despair--

Remember the question--"My child, are the stars still there?"

Taking Offense When None is Intended

Is it me, or does it seem lately like people are more easily offended . . . usually over silly things that don't really matter? Like the day I drove one of those riding carts some stores furnish for people that have a hard time getting around. My mother wasn't feeling well that day, and sometimes riding a cart like that makes it possible for her to shop. She has rheumatoid arthritis and knees that have seen better days. Those riding carts have been a life-saver for her, and we appreciate the stores that furnish such items. There wasn't one on the side of the store we entered on the day in question, so I helped her to a bench at the front of the store and ran down to the other end to see if I could find a riding cart there. I found one, and then proceeded to drive it down to where my mother waited. Wow did I get dirty looks from a woman who had seen me run down to that end to retrieve the riding cart. She was mortally offended--the look on her face spoke volumes. She made sure I saw the unpleasant look on her face before she huffed out of the store. In an instant she had made herself the judge and jury over a case she didn't even understand. To her, the judgement was sound and fair. It didn't matter that she had missed the entire reason for my erratic behavior. Nor had she witnessed the countless times I have purposely parked clear out in the north 40 to make sure those with physical challenges have a closer place to park near a store. None of that mattered. She had seen all she needed to see before passing judgement. I'm sure she shared with anyone who would listen how terrible I was to use a riding cart when I obviously didn't need one.

I'm sure we've all been there--condemned by those who don't have all of the facts. People witness something with tunnel vision, and then make it worse by jumping to conclusions. I've been on both sides of this type of drama. We're all human, and we all make mistakes. We see a portion of what is really taking place, and then choose to be offended by what we perceive to be a slight directed toward us, when in reality, it had nothing to do with us at all.

I'll conclude this post by sharing some thoughts on this matter. Hopefully when we are tempted to jump to conclusions, maybe we'll pause a moment to consider that we may not always know the whole story. Think about what is most important, and give those around us the benefit of the doubt:



“Time is the justice that examines all offenders.” William Shakespeare

 “I'll not willingly offend, Nor be easily offended; What's amiss I'll strive to mend, And endure what can't be mended.” Isaac Watts

“An offended heart is the breeding ground of deception.”  John Bevere

“To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”  David A. Bednar

"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool." Brigham Young

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Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you. Joel Osteen
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Ice Happens

I apologize for not posting anything lately. Life has been acting like the ice on a local lake, and has piled up, with one adventure after another. That seems to be a current theme for many of us in 2016. We just think things will settle down, and wham, along comes another character building moment. ;) I'm beginning to think that's part of why we're here--part of our earthly education. You just think you're getting everything figured out, and life happens. It can be a health dilemma, death of a loved one, or a myriad of trials that affect the people we love. Sometimes financial setbacks take the reins, or little things, like dropping a metal container of heavy dominoes on one's foot. (Yep, I'm still dealing with that last item. Not my idea of a fun time, and about the 6th broken toe I've endured through the years.)

Suddenly we find ourselves floundering in a sea of turmoil and pain as wave after wave of physical or emotional challenges threaten to sink our boat. That's when we long for the safety and comfort of the shore. We can often see it in the distance--a safe harbor where life starts making sense again, but while we're doing our best not to drown, we sometimes struggle with making it to a refuge of protection and peace.

In recent weeks, we've dealt with a son who had to endure a painful surgery, an aging parent, who despite getting the flu shot, caught a version of the flu anyway,  interesting weather fluctuations and corresponding arthritis flares, one disaster after another in our local ward and community, as well as challenges in our extended family.

There were good things, too, like several births of cute babies, a niece's mission call, as well as the mission call for one of the YW I used to serve during my last tour of duty as a YW leader. Last night we learned where a favorite aunt and uncle will be serving their mission. All wonderful news moments! And we were able to go through the temple with both of those young ladies mentioned above. Awesome experiences.

My calling in the R.S. keeps me hopping, but often in a good way. So on and so forth. In short, currently we're not meant to be bored. I suspect it's part of the joy of our current time. ;)

So how do we find our way to the shore when we suddenly find ourselves blown out to the middle of a turbulent trial? I'll admit, it's not easy. I've sometimes felt like I will always be stuck out where the water is too deep and the wind is extremely nasty. Then little things happen that help me find my way. Items like prayer, scriptures that provide comfort and guidance, upbeat or positive thoughts, a hug from a loving friend, a song that contains a soothing message, and sometimes just a realization that one day, all of this will make sense. One of my favorite poems talks about the shaping of a tapestry, and how at first it seems like a jumbled mess of color. Then gradually a beautiful picture emerges and you see that all of the colors were required to create a completed masterpiece.

Despite how it feels at the time, there is a reason for the good and bad items that happen in our lives. One of the most difficult things we will ever do is to place our trust in our Savior. As the saying goes, "when we get all wrinkled up with worry and care, it's time to get our faith lifted." I often reflect on Peter, and the great faith he possessed as he began to walk out on the water to reach the Savior. True, he had his moment of doubt and discouragement, but our Savior was right there to catch him before he drowned. The same is true for all of us. Since Jesus suffered more than any of us can possibly comprehend, and willingly endured what all of us would experience, (see Alma 7:11-12) we need to remember to trust in Him, and to allow Him to shoulder our burdens.

I've had to do that a couple of times in my life. There have been dark nights when I thought I would never sleep again, or feel comforting peace. When I finally ceased ranting, raving, and being obnoxiously angry, that peace has come. But I have to be humble enough for it to enter my heart.

There is a famous picture of the Savior standing outside of a door, knocking. The only available doorknob exists inside. It is symbolic of the fact that He is always there to help us, but it is up to us to let Him into our lives.

So on those days when you are feeling tempest tossed (as the popular hymn advises) remember to count the blessings in your life and know that God is indeed over all. Things will eventually settle into place, and safe harbors do exist. We merely have to steer toward them and trust in the One who understands us more than we understand ourselves. 

The Inner Battle We All Endure

There is a tendency in today's stress-filled world to thoroughly beat ourselves up over varying items. We criticize our appearance, our choice of clothing for the day, how we walk, talk, and at times, breathe. In short, we are our own worst critics. I'm sure we have ample help from a certain personage who delights in shredding our self-esteem whenever possible. He hates the fact that we have a body, and a chance for eternal growth, and he does not. So it brings him and his followers great pleasure to add to our mental barrage whenever possible. We find ourselves deluged with negative thoughts on a regular basis as a result. See if any of these thought patterns sound familiar:

"Why did I say that? I just made a complete fool of myself and now everyone hates me!"

"I look ridiculous! Why did I ever think this color looked good on me? I am hideous!"

"I am a total klutz! Everyone saw how I tripped and nearly fell! They must think I'm an idiot!"

"Oh, man, why did I give that gift instead of something else? I know they hated it! What was I thinking?"

So on, and so forth. I think you get the idea. No one tears us down like we do to ourselves. We are constantly worrying over how other people perceive us, instead of realizing, most people are fighting the same battle. We are so preoccupied with making a good impression, that we're making ourselves miserable in the process.

This is one of my biggest weaknesses. I worry far too much about what other people think. So much so, that I've had a couple of dreams regarding this tendency. Though I know that most dreams are silly nonsense, and a way for our subconscious to sort things out, I believe that once in a while, when the need is great, we can receive important messages through that format. I will briefly share a couple of dreams that I've been given regarding this topic:

In the first dream, I was given a small part in a large production. I had one line, but oh, how I stressed over it. I rehearsed it repeatedly in front of a mirror. When it came time for the performance, I ran out onto the stage and uttered my line, then ran down into the audience to see if they liked it. I asked several people if I had enunciated clearly enough. Then I asked if I was loud enough. Did they understand what that line meant--etc. and so forth, until I realized that the entire play had come to a halt while I was interrogating the audience.

When this fact dawned on me, I was mortified. I ran back onstage and when the production was over, I hid in the green room backstage, certain I had ruined the entire play. While I was busy hiding from everyone else, it was announced that the Greatest Director of all would be coming in to talk to the cast. Everyone else milled around in excitement while I remained hidden behind whatever I could find. I sensed when the Director came into the room, but I was so certain I had ruined everything, I stayed out of sight. He still found me, and told me lovingly, "I am the only one you need to please."

As you may have guessed, The Great Director was our Savior. After giving me this sound advice, He then handed me another part to play in a larger production. I was feeling overwhelmed, but He assured that I could do it. Then I woke up and pondered the peace I felt from that dream. It has brought me comfort and insight repeatedly.

A few years later, I had another interesting dream regarding this same subject. In the second dream, I was doing my best to climb a golden staircase. It seemed like I would take one step forward and slide back three. I was growing discouraged, certain I would never succeed, and then my eyes were opened. I could see that a dark force was doing its best to hold my legs in place. It was like wading through black, sticky tar. During those difficult moments, angels appeared to drive the dark force away, but it was up to me to continue taking the steps forward up that staircase.

Once again I woke up and pondered an important message. I periodically have to remind myself that it is up to me to continue forward. It's easy to give into the dark thoughts and negative mindset that holds us back, but we're not in this battle alone. This is something that we need to remember. And, we are doing better than we ever think we are. It's important to take each day as it comes, do the best we can, and avoid the tendency to second guess what we've accomplished. It's also important to lift those around us who are fighting the same battle. Be kind. Be generous. And most of all, be encouraging to others. Don't be stingy with compliments. When someone does a good job at something, let them know. Odds are, they are silently berating themselves for not doing better.

Wouldn't it be an awesome world if we were all focusing on making others feel better about themselves, instead of criticizing them or ourselves? (See Acts 20:35; D. & C. 81:5; & Philippians 4:13)

So today, focus on the good things. Choose to be a positive influence in this world of turmoil and strife. Keep taking those steps forward, and eventually we'll find that we're making more progress than we ever thought possible. 

Retirement Mode

So here we are in the middle of January in a brand new year. Is anyone else still scrambling to catch up after the holidays? ;) True, the past few weeks have been beyond crazy for our clan, but that seems to be the theme for life at the moment. In the middle of the holiday season, my husband retired from his place of employment--somewhere he has worked steady for 34 years. We not only celebrated Christmas and a brand new year, but a major milestone in our lives. The dust is still settling.

As I look back, I can see that our lives have been a series of milestones. Skipping over the numerous landmark events that occurred as we grew into adulthood, there were many adventures along the way. Our engagement era was fraught with life-changing moments. Kennon had graduated from ISU, and was adjusting to life after serving a mission in Japan. My family had moved to yet another new area (we moved 8 times while I was growing up), I graduated from Ricks College, and developed a lovely character building condition known as Type 1 diabetes. Kennon and I met, fell in love, and married a few months later in the Logan Temple.

We gutted a small local home and after replacing carpet, painting walls, etc. claimed our first abode. About a year and a half later we welcomed our first child into our midst. Three months later, my father passed away. Three years after that, we buried my husband's father. In between we lost a plethora of other relatives, welcomed a second son into our clan, and built a new home.

The list goes on. More deaths, births, family weddings, life changing callings, and health challenges. While  my husband slaved away at a job he didn't always care for to provide a comfortable living for our family, I did my best to help raise our 3 sons and keep the home fires burning. I stumbled into the writing world in the middle of all of that which gave me a chance to help out with little things like braces, family trips, etc.

The years passed quickly and before we knew it, our sons were growing up. Now they were heading off to college, experiencing mission life, and starting families of their own. So it goes. I've heard life described as a giant circle. In some ways, that is an apt description. We pick up where our parents left off, and continue the mortal saga. In turn, our children do the same. And through it all, time passes much too fast. As we squeeze precious grandchildren, we wonder where the years went. Wasn't it just yesterday when we were squeezing our own children?

I remember hearing the advice to savor each day--and make the most of the time we have. In literally the blink of an eye, things change. One minute we're fretting over getting to work or sending kids off to school, and then we're taking care of our parents and preparing for our retirement years. One day we'll find ourselves on the other side of the veil, wondering where the time went. And from what I understand, eternal time is reckoned in a different fashion. We'll be shown that we were only gone scant minutes from our heavenly home. Some of us may exclaim, "No way!!! I was only gone 10 minutes . . . and I did all of that?" Hopefully that statement won't be followed by an exclamation of  "Oops!!! My bad!!!" ;)

In short, mortal mode is a probationary time of learning and growing, and in the wise words of my paternal grandmother, "You never know when you're going to be hit with a pop quiz." We take each day as it comes, and do our best. That's all our Heavenly Parents ever expected of us. We are following in Their footsteps, trying to emulate Their example. Our Elder Brother showed us the way--we have but to look to His standards of living to know what we're supposed to be doing in this mortal sphere. And someday, when it's all said and done, we'll find out it never is. ;) I fully believe that we will continue to grow and learn after we graduate from this life. There is no such thing as eternal retirement. I'm just sayin; . . .

So here's to life . . . and the whirlwind that accompanies it. As we continue from one adventure to another, may we pause to reflect on all that really matters, and ignore the stuff that doesn't. That is the secret to finding peace and happiness in today's crazy world.