I found myself wide awake early this morning, and feeling great. This is an unusual combination, compliments of health issues I have faced this past year. So you can understand why I also felt a tiny bit suspicious, figuring there was something I was supposed to do. And when words started going around inside my noggin, I figured this is what was going on.
I haven’t written a blog post for quite a while. In my defense, life . . . fatigue . . . holidays . . . did I mention life? So here goes . . . my first attempt at a blog post in 2021.
As this new year approached, I found myself dealing with conflicting emotions: excitement, apprehension (considering all that took place this past year) dread, and eager anticipation. I’ve always been a bit of an optimist. Through the years this has tended to annoy people. In high school I was accused of being one of those silly people who smile all the time. Was my life easy then . . . no, it was not. Did I have reasons to be happy . . . yes and no.
Light speed to the current time . . . is my life easy . . . no, it is not. Do I have reasons to be happy . . . yes and no. So in essence, nothing has changed, and neither has my tendency to smile even when things don’t warrant that expression.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I frown a bit. We all do. It’s part of the human experience. Bad days happen. Like that one a couple of days ago . . . when our nation seemed to be a bit off balance. Just sayin’ . . .
In my own personal life, I have been enduring a series of nasty arthritis flares the past couple of weeks. The kind that leaves you feeling like a walking canker sore. Not my idea of a fun time. And when I’m in a bit of pain, my blood sugar levels tend to run low. . . a lot. Go team . . . and Type 1 diabetes.
The doctor who has been helping me with my cancer adventure, is convinced this less than fun escapade will resurface. We have agreed to disagree on that one. So far I’m winning.
Daily I do my best to help my mother with her varied challenges. Her eyesight is dimming, and I know if I feel like a walking canker sore, she is feeling the same x 10. Character building moments, as we call them.
I’m also still doing my best to help my husband deliver our county’s version of meals on wheels twice a week, and we are still serving as the housing coordinators for the missionaries who serve in our area. And while I’m busy helping my mom, my husband is helping his, since she recently moved to our valley. So we are rarely bored. And maybe that is what is keeping us going. Each day we look at our list of things to do and attempt to accomplish the most important items. I think that’s all any of us can do.
Granted, we live in a precarious time. I find that I can only stand to watch the news for a few minutes before turning to my current favorite show: “Chopped,” on the Food network. I get a kick out of seeing what these creative cooks come up with using the strange ingredients they are required to use. In some ways I guess I can relate to that challenge in my own life. I’ve been given an interesting set of character building items to make things entertaining. It’s up to me to determine what I do with them. ;)
I’m taking satisfaction in finally regaining some of the strength I lost this past year. This gives me hope that one of these days when I cross off my long list of things to do, I might just actually feel well enough to venture into my new craft room and do something fun.
I guess in essence, we are all facing similar adventures. And because we are all so different, our challenges will vary. But the emotions are the same. We deal with fear, weakness, irritation, etc. quite a bit these days. And yet, there are still good things taking place . . . we just have to look for them. There are reasons why I keep pictures of my family in a place where I can see them everyday. And reasons why I also treasure items that close friends have given me. Their love and faith in me often keep me going on days when all seems lost.
All is never lost. That is something I have learned repeatedly in my life. Even during the darkest moments when my heart has felt like shards of glass, there has been a tiny flicker of hope that has kept me going. It is the knowledge that I am a daughter of God. Despite everything, I know that He is there, helping me survive the perilous journeys I am often called upon to make in this life. Through it all, I am never alone. I also have the guidance of a beloved Elder Brother who sacrificed so much for me . . . and for all of us. His example lights the way and gives me something to cling to when the world seems crazy.
So during these times when we don’t seem to know from day to day what we will face or endure, know that hope lives on . . . always. Despite everything, there are still reasons to smile. And someday, when we find ourselves at the summit of this uphill battle we call life, we will know that it was all worth it in the end.
